Tools of the Trade
- Ann Abbott
- Aug 24, 2017
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 16
My husband is a builder, and a VERY GOOD one! As I have watched him and seen his work, these 36 years of our marriage, I have often thought of him not just as a man who can hammer and nail things together to make a beautiful home, but as an artist. He has the ability to envision a more aesthetic (as well as a more functional and successful) way to structure the project he is working on. He is meticulous and thorough, and also very honest and fair with his clients. He has reaped the reward of his high integrity and quality of workmanship by the reputation he has earned in the community.
Recently, in my study of the book of Proverbs, I read Prov. 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” (NASB)
As women (and especially if we have children), we all experience the challenges of having to be a “jack of all trades”, of multi-tasking, and of wearing many “hats!” Having our time, energy, and attention torn in many directions, with that inner need to be “amazing!” at all we do. We may not always get the help or affirmation we inwardly desire. Although our husbands are wonderful, loving, and caring; they too have many demands on them (and often just don’t see life through the same “lenses” we do), so we may feel our needs are unmet or insufficiently met. They, too, may feel the same of us. As time goes on, and general fatigue grows more and more intense, our frustrations may also increase.
How easy it is to complain with our closest girlfriends, or to our husband directly. Communication is very important, for both husband and wife to be lovingly honest about their needs, and frustrations!
However, open communication isn’t something that is always easy to do, nor are we always able to express ourselves well. Often, it is a lifelong process of learning to know each other and know how to affirm, encourage, and appreciate each other.
The process of building or tearing down our “house” is something we are always doing, often without even realizing it. I was thinking of the tools I need to “build my house”. Again, the book of Proverbs gives us much wisdom and direction. Proverbs 31 is often quoted as a chapter for women to look to as the standard to live by; and this may cause us to inwardly groan. None of us are Super Woman; nor do many of us, if any, have strengths in all the areas mentioned. It is not my intent to do an in-depth study on the whole passage of the “excellent woman”, but I do want to focus on one verse.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Prov. 31:26 ESV)
Throughout the book of Proverbs, we read what the wise vs. the foolish person does. What/when/how we speak and react to others is a frequent theme. Kindness is often mentioned. There are not many women who have all the talents listed in Proverbs 31: business acumen, managing others, gardening, sewing, cooking, etc. etc. However, by God’s grace we can and should ALL seek to develop the qualities of wisdom and kindness. Those are qualities that transcend natural talent, personality types, or environment. The “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is insight”. (Prov. 9:10 ESV) The specifics on how and the ways we demonstrate those qualities greatly vary, the Holy Spirit knows us individually and promises to direct us. But, the most important “tool” we need to build our homes/relationships is a desire to love and fear God; to seek His wisdom and truth through His Word, and interact with others who do the same. This can sometimes be challenging, but let us be women who build our homes, ones which last and are the center of healthy, loving relationships!
O Lord, help us to love and fear You. Grant us the grace to be women of wisdom and kindness, who build a strong and beautiful home! It is in Your Name, and for Your glory that I pray! Amen.
