Not So “Friendly Fire”
We don’t have to be serving in the military to experience wounds from those we thought were on our “side”. Friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, fellow church members or leaders all can be part of a group in which you belonged and had felt you were “safe”. Then it comes; the “hit” that seems to mortally wound you.
Perhaps, it has been a gradual process and this is that final “dagger” to the heart; or maybe it is something that “blindsides” you, something that was unexpected and deeply hurtful. But, the very fact that it was from someone that you felt should have been an ally not a foe makes it all the more painful! The pain may not strike as a physical blow, but one that strikes into our hearts, into the core of our emotional well-being. In the common understanding of “friendly fire”, a person is injured by someone on their same side of the battle; an accidental, unintentional injury. We can sometimes “be in the wrong place at the wrong time” and be hurt. That is not what I am referring to in this segment. Rather, this is about being a recipient of behavior that is offensive, unkind, insensitive, or perhaps downright abusive. The specifics vary greatly, but I am learning what the Word of God, and the Lord’s comfort and truth teaches, and what my reaction needs to be. During this season of confusion and hurt, I have tried to focus on passages that promise to bring both comfort and wisdom.
I have meditated on Psalms 119, and in the book of Proverbs. Daily, I read verses that direct my thinking and behavior, in order to take the path of wisdom, the “high road” as I have written about before (“The High Road of Integrity” April 11, 2016). Initially, the comfort of loving family or true friends (who can listen, understand, empathize, and counsel) is needed to “stop the bleeding” so to speak. As the initial reaction to the hurt gives way to thoughts of “what now?”, I have sought to see the bigger picture. Among other verses, I frequently pray Psalms 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (ESV) I need to know when I am guilty of any wrong that I need to make right.
I was very blessed to awaken one morning with the words to the hymn “Be Still My Soul” playing in my mind. I had not listened to or sung that hymn in a long time, so it seemed especially meaningful that it came to my memory. I looked up the lyrics to see the words to all the verses. Take a minute to go to this link, the words are extremely comforting! (http://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Be_Still_My_Soul/) But, having this song come to mind led me to an important realization: it could “come to mind” because I already knew it! I love many of the old hymns. They are rich with Biblical truth, and they are lyrically and musically beautiful! Also, the verse “Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” (Psalms 119:11, NKJV) has been very real to me. As I meditate on God’s Word, His living, dynamic truth speaks to my day by day situations! His Holy Spirit brings to my mind the truths that I need! (see John 16:13)
One other important, basic realization that I have been reminded of is that in order to really trust God, or truly feel Jesus is our “friend”, we need to know Him! In another previous entry (“Be Still and Know…Then Go” March 14, 2016) I wrote how we need to know the One who sees the bigger picture. What do you need to know about Him to trust Him more fully when the hurts in life happen? In times of pain, superficial relationships are NOT what we want, we want to be with and share with those who really love us, understand us, and CARE! Someone who knows when to say something, or when to just be silent and be with us. God often gives us people to be “His arms” for a hug, but ultimately it is the relationship with Him that will bring the deepest comfort! He is our sovereign God who is good, who is loving, who is wise, and who is in control! Let Him soothe your hurting heart in these experiences, so you can know in your soul that He will “order and provide; in every change, He faithful will remain. …Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend, through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”
Listen to this beautiful hymn:
For additional teaching on forgiveness and other topics on relationships, see the website: https://biblicalrestorationministries.org/unforgiveness.html. For questions or comments, respond by email to: brministries1551@gmail.com, “Your Road Home” in the subject line.
In this “journey of life”, we all encounter both joys and sorrows. When shared with others, “the joy can be doubled, and the sorrows divided!” May you know the comfort of God’s love for you!